


In Your Own Way

by theladyhathaway



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drabble, F/M, M/M, canonverse, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:36:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6036375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladyhathaway/pseuds/theladyhathaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Mikasa talk. Eren's there too, sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Own Way

**Author's Note:**

> Is this technically ereri? Ererivamika? Who knows. I never thought I'd be writing conversation between the AckerFam, but here I am and here this is. Not sure where this is in the timeline, but it's after it becomes somewhat common knowledge Levi is an Ackerman. This is purely and totally platonic, btw, I don't ship rivamika except for them being good friends someday.

It was a quiet night in the Survey Corps headquarters. Commander Erwin was away, playing nice with the nobles in Sina. It had been two days since the last expedition, and while not as disastrous as usual, it was still humbling in the number of shrouded bodies carted back inside the walls. The smoke from the pyres still hung in the air, an acrid and cloying reminder of the soldiers lost. The main body of the Corps was recovering, spending the time the Commander was away resting and mourning the dead.

Usually crowded and reverberating with the conversations of dozens of people, the dining hall was now nearly empty this late into the night, with only a few stragglers still talking in low voices over coffee long since gone cold. The new Squad Levi had taken refuge in a deserted corner and sat huddled around a table.

Normally a rather exuberant group, they now radiated a sense of worry and general tenseness in their quiet. Sasha picked at her food, eyes low; Jean sat with his arms crossed over his chest, boots up on an empty chair as he stared into the distance. Connie, next to Sasha, rested his chin on his folded arms, eyes closed. Armin had pulled a small book from his pocket and now stared blankly down at it as it sat open in his hands, having not turned the page in nearly an hour. Mikasa, tucked in next to Armin, sat with her red scarf pulled up over her mouth and nose, the only sign she was at all as distressed as her squad mates. They all knew they could have gone to bed hours ago, but had all agreed without a word to sit up together. Sleep would have been a long time coming anyway.

It had been two days since the last expedition, and Eren Jaeger still hadn’t woken up. Normally he woke up anywhere from twelve hours to a day after a long term shift, but it was coming up on three days, in less than an hour, and he still lay unconscious in the infirmary. The Corps as a whole generally took after the mood of its leaders, and with Squad Leader Hanji’s lips pressed together in a worried line every time they left Eren’s bedside, and Captain Levi prowling the building like a caged panther, the lines of his face tight with tension, the Corps was very nervous.

Glancing around the quiet room, Mikasa realized she couldn’t stand another moment sitting quietly, just waiting. She had to _move_. Her exhausted muscles shrieked in resistance, but she rose silently from her seat, put a hand on Armin’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, letting him know she was leaving. He blinked once, then nodded once, understanding each other without words as they often did. The rest of the squad didn’t question her leaving either as she wove around their chairs, knowing where she was going. Didn’t question it, but as she walked away, she could feel familiar pressure of Jean’s stare on her back. 

She knew the way to the infirmary quite well by now. The hallway floors were polished to a dull sheen in the candlelight by the constant treading of boots over the years. The low conversation of the dining hall was nonexistent up here, in the barracks and officers’ quarters. Her boots made little more than a whisper against the floorboards as she walked. When she arrived at the infirmary, she pushed the door open, oiled hinges silent, and found Levi sitting in a chair at the foot of Eren’s bed, eyes half closed and his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t turn she approached, acknowledged her only with a nod as she settled onto the edge of the bed next to Eren’s.

“Any change?” she murmured. He shook his head mutely, the light catching the gloss of his black hair. Like hers. Temporarily distracted, she fingered a strand of her own hair. Was black hair an Ackerman trait? She pictured her father’s face as carefully as she could, ignoring an upwelling of ancient grief as she did, but could find few constants between his face, her own, and the captain’s.

She didn’t understand why she was looking for similarities between herself and Levi. She thought to herself, in an effort to make the idea more tangible, _We’re related. His last name is Ackerman. Somewhere down the line, he’s my something-cousin however many times removed._ Up until a month or two ago, she’d all but sworn eternal enmity with him for what he’d done to Eren in the courtroom, even if Eren had long since forgiven him. And yet, she still gave him a subtle onceover as she sat quietly, the urge to move from before now gone.

He was short, yes, but she surmised that was probably a result of his childhood in the underground slums rather than an inherited trait. Black hair, dark gray eyes, fair complexion. Aside from his height, he was as nondescript as anyone. She studied his face more closely. Maybe… something in the stubborn set of his brow or the downward tilt of his mouth, she could see reflected in her own face. Could her own chin so determinedly set, maybe?

Mikasa blinked, finding cool gray eyes on hers. His expression faintly amused at catching her studying him, he said quietly, “Had your fill of staring yet?” She said nothing, still too embarrassed to respond. She pulled her scarf up over her face again, but he knew her well enough now to recognize the gesture hid her embarrassment. He made a noise that might have been a soft laugh, then sat forward, training his eyes on Eren’s face. “I won’t lie; I’ve looked for it too. Tried to see if I can see some sort of commonality between you and I. Tried, and generally failed. We really do represent two different branches of one line, don’t we?”

She remained silent, letting him talk, sensing he didn’t really need a response to anything he said. He continued in a rush, like he was surprising himself with his words as well, “You know I had no idea I was- am -an Ackerman up until Kenny, my… mother’s brother, told me. Cunning old bastard, keeping a secret like that right up until he died.” Levi let out a huff. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Maybe it just feels good to tell someone. You can tell me you don’t care to hear it, if you want.”

Mikasa blinked, then cleared her throat. “No- no, it’s… it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Levi let out another heavy breath. “I guess it is family history, in a way, huh? I already know yours, Ackerman father met your Asian mother in the mountains near Shiganshina, right?” His voice was quiet, encouraging her to speak only if she wanted to.

She nodded, unwelcome memories swirling to the surface of her mind. She picked up the thread of the tale, her voice soft, “Three men came to the house. They killed my father first; he opened the door. My mother tried to fight them off, so they killed her too. I heard them talking about how they were going to sell me and my mother. They complained about how much money they would have made on her, as her blood was drying on my skin.” His face tightened with subtle anger as she spoke. Ignoring another wave of pain picturing her parents’ faces, she finished, “That’s how I met Eren. And Dr. Jaeger, and Ms. Carla. Eren came for me. He told me to fight, and to live.”

Levi’s face softened. The image of very young Eren Jaeger, enormous green eyes blazing with rage in a round little face, was strangely endearing. “Two little kids, killing three grown men.” He shook his head. “I wish I could say I’ve never heard of such a thing, but I killed the man who let my mother die with my own hands too.” Huh. He hadn’t meant to tell her that. But he was realizing Mikasa, with her wise and jaded air at odds with her soft, youthful face, was surprisingly easy to talk to.

Mikasa looked up at him, surprised. His tone was completely matter-of-fact as he spoke. A range of expressions played over his face, his brows furrowing and mouth turning down in soft sadness as he spoke again after a moment. “My mother died when I was very young. She got sick, couldn’t shake it. I was five or six, I think. I don’t know, don’t remember much from back then. Time wasn’t kept very accurately at that time and place anyway. She was a prostitute in the underground.” He blinked and cut himself off there, seeming surprised by the outpouring of his history to her. “I don’t know who my father is.”

He glanced over at Mikasa, trying to gauge her reaction. She sat very still, like Levi was an easily startled animal that she didn’t want to spook, and her eyes were wide with surprise. Yeah, he was surprised too. Processing the last of his story, she asked softly, “You don’t know who your father is?”

Levi shook his head as he answered, face darkening, “No. And I honestly don’t care to. He was just another one of my mother’s abusers, as far as I’m concerned.” He sighed. “She got sick and died in her sleep when I was a little kid, like I said. For a while there, all I had was Kenny. Not exactly a model father figure. He taught me how to steal and lie and not get killed in a street fight. By the time I was, I don’t know, twelve or something, I could take down full-grown men. So I went back to the owner of the brothel who let my mother die and I killed him with my bare hands.”

Mikasa stared. He said it with no remorse whatsoever. She couldn’t decide if that bothered her. But when she thought back to the men she and Eren had killed, what would have happened if they hadn’t, she realized she felt the same way. No remorse for killing them, none at all. Only a sense of cold satisfaction, and a phantom tingle in her limbs from the surge of power that had woken in her blood that day. She bit at her lip. He had fallen into an introspective silence, eyes on his hands. Did she dare speak again, or would he turn back into the cool and remote Captain she’d been learning to trust the past few months? Keeping her tone quiet, she asked softly, “How did you get out? Get to the surface, I mean?”

His face darkened slightly. “I turned to petty crime to survive, including the trade of surface goods. I got my hands on a set of 3DMG, and that helped boost takings too. I had a… family, of sorts. Farlan, we’d been friends for years-” he paused, and when he spoke again his voice almost too soft to hear, “and Isabel.” After another introspective pause, his tone was dry when he continued. “The Corps, well, Erwin Smith himself, caught wind of a trio of kids in the underground that could use 3DMG, and he caught up to us. Literally. Told me I had two options, join the Corps and use my strengths for the good of humanity, or be turned over to the MPs. You can guess which option I took.” He made another low noise of amusement.

When he fell silent again, Mikasa almost didn’t want to ask. A cold ball of dread was coiled in her gut. Levi’s story couldn’t have a happy ending, and she didn’t know if she wanted to hear it. The words came out in nearly a whisper. “What happened to them?”

Levi sat back and ran a hand over his face. He didn’t want to finish this story; just picturing Isabel’s face caused a bolt of pain in his chest. But Mikasa deserved answers. He swallowed hard, focusing his gaze back on Eren’s face, smooth and pale in sleep. “First expedition out, it started raining, I- we… got separated in the rain.  I circled back for them, but it was too late. Aberrant, got them both.  I… destroyed it. Tore it to shreds. I think I… I went mad, for a few moments.” His voice was saturated with ancient grief.

Mikasa lowered her gaze, then scooted forward on her bed. She picked up one of Eren’s hands and held it between her two. Levi watched the movement, then leaned forward and to the side, placing his elbow on the bed, his folded hands next to, but not touching, Eren’s other hand. He continued softly, “I guess this is me going soft, but I just… I look at you and Armin and Eren and I see myself and my little family. I see so much of Isabel in Eren sometimes. I guess that’s why I have a soft spot for him. Well, that and he’s a pretty endearing little shit.” Mikasa gave a soft laugh. Yes, that was true.  He cleared his throat again, then said, “And I don’t… I don’t want anyone to ever go through what I did when I lost my family twice. Like you did. No one should ever have to go through that, you three kids especially. You three- Eren, he… he’s something special. He’s a Titan shifter, yeah, but I mean… anyone who can make Jean fuckin’ Kirschtein of all people join the Survey Corps is someone special in my book.” Mikasa laughed again. Levi got it. He got it. She let out a breath, feeling more at peace with Levi than she ever had.

When she rose, he looked up at her with brows raised in surprise at her faint smile. “You aren’t staying?” She shook her head. “No, I trust you to watch over him.”

He watched her leave in silence, then called, tone both amused and surprised, “I thought you wanted me dead. I wouldn’t have thought you’d willingly leave me alone with him when you could be here.”

Mikasa turned at the door and allowed a full smile to come over her face. She knew now, that Levi would fight to protect Eren just as hard as she would. She responded, voice strong and sure, “It’s because I know that, in your own way, you love Eren too.” Without waiting to see how he responded to that, her family now expanded by one, she turned away and went to find the barracks. Eren would wake in his own time, and Levi would be there with her and Armin to protect Eren from himself, steady as the sunrise.  

 

               

**Author's Note:**

> send me questions, comments, drabble requests: isabelsmagnoliias.tumblr.com
> 
> in the words of the great and noble sciencefictioness: feedback me, reader-san ^^ thank you for reading!


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